Impress Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to impress a woman:
compliment her,
respect her,
honor her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine and dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to impress a man:
Show up naked. Bring beer.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her...
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
... with Beer

How To Impress a Woman:Compliment her Cuddle her Kiss her Tease her Comfort her Hug her Send her flowers Wine and dine her Listen to her Care for her Hold her Support herHow to Impress a Man:Show up naked... with beer.

How To Impress a Woman: Compliment her Cuddle her Kiss her Tease her Comfort her Hug her Send her flowers Wine and dine her Listen to her Care for her Hold her Support herHow to Impress a Man: Show up naked..... with beer.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her...
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring Beer

The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies night club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a $20 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $20 bill, and stuck it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulled out a $50 bill and called the guy over. I was worried about the way things were going, but she licked the bill and just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things were going, the guy gyrated over to me! Now everyone's attention was focused on me, and the guy was egging me on to try and top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his behind, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home.

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her...
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked.
... with Beer