Impressed Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle thru it. All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it...
It was 5: 00 in the morning at the U. S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellowed, "This is a birthday suit inspection. I wanna see y'all formed up outside butt naked now!" So the soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up into three ranks. The sarge walked out and yelled, "Close up the ranks; conserve your body heat!" So the men closed in tightly. The captain came along with his swagger stick. He went to the first soldier and whacked him right across the chest with it. "Did that hurt?" he yelled. "No, sir!" came the reply. "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, sir!" The sergeant was impressed and walked on to the next man. He took the stick and whacked the soldier right across the rear. "Did that hurt?" "No, sir!" "Why not?" "Because I'm a U. S. Marine, more...