In-laws Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What is the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
A: Out-laws are wanted.

One day a boy comes home from school and says, "dad I need to know the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school." so the father replies, "go ask your mother if she would sleep with a man for 1 million dollars." so the little boy goes and asks and sure enough she says yes. his dad says ok now go ask your sister if she would sleep with a man for a million dollars. so he does and sure enough she says yes. so the father says, you see son hypothetically we are sitting on 2 million dollars but realistically we are living with a couple of whores."

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.

"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE more...

A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence
in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, Darling,
if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years.

His wife looked at him aghast. *My* Aunt Emma! she cried. I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma