Inch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Be on the lookout for the following viruses
CLINTON VIRUS
Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory
VIAGRA VIRUS
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
LEWINSKY VIRUS
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
Saves your data but forgets where it is stored
MIKE TYSON VIRUS
Quits after two bytes
OPRA WINFREY VIRUS
Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
Deletes all old files
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
Disks can no longer be inserted
TITANIC VIRUS(A strain of Lewinsky virus)
Your whole computer goes down
DISNEY VIRUS
Everything in your computer goes Goofy
PROZAC VIRUS
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
Only attacks minor files
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it - through more...
This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it."Hey, what's that? " "A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist." "Can I try? " The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room. "Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! " "Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist? " bar, drinking
New Drink "This guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender, "Got any specials today?"
The bartender replies, "Yes, as a matter of fact, we have a new drink that was invented by a gynecologist who is a patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and Smirnoff vodka."
The guy asks, "Geez, what kind of drink is that?"
The bartender responds, more...
A flat-chested woman was delighted when her Fairy Godmother said her breasts would increase in size every time a man said 'Pardon' to her.
She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said, "Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic. The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her pardon and another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven!
She walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and said, "A thousand pardons for my clumsy behavior."
The next day, the headline in the local newspaper read, "Chinese Waiter Crushed to Death!"
the difinition of a bastard.
a guy that fucks you all night long with a two inch dick and kisses you goodbye in the morning with a nine inch tongue
Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey! How about it babe? You and me ?"
As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch ?"
a.. THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)
b.. THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
c.. THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did)
d.. THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
e.. THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)
f.. THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200mb)
g.. THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus.... (Deletes all old files)
h.. THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus...(Disks can no longer be inserted)
i.. THE PROZAC virus.... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)
j.. THE WOODY ALLEN virus... (Only attacks minor files)
k.. THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus (Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back)
l.. THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3. more...