Inch Jokes / Recent Jokes

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the
floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The
big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to
me?" The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd
just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my
left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds,
and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Turner
Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"!

A small white guy went into an elevator, when he got in he noticed a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looked down upon the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown." The small guy fainted!! The huge black dude picked up the little white guy and brought him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asked the small white guy, "What's wrong?" Our petite friend said, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown". The white guy sighed, "Oh, thank God! I thought you said "Turn around!!'"

A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting beside a 12 inch pianist. He walks up to the man and says, ''That's amazing how did you get that.'' The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. So he rubs the bottle and a puff of smoke pops out and grants him one wish. So the man thinks and says, ''I wish I had a million bucks.'' The genie says, "OK, go outside and your wish will be granted."So the man goes outside and all he finds is ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells the man what happend and the man says, ''I know, do you really think I wanted a 12 inch pianist.'''

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?""Head up," said the doctor."Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor`s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn`t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?" said the executioner."Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist`s more...

Attn: IRS

Enclosed is my 1999 tax return & payment.

Please take note of the attached article from USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the use the above mentioned to fund a 1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch phillips head screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A satisfied taxpayer

There was this contest if 3 guys dicks would add up to 21 inches they would win 3 million dollars.
So Mac goes first pulls his out 10 inches
Next was Andy pulls his out 10inches
Last but not least was Ben pulls his out 1 inch
Ding Ding Ding... we have winners
so after the contest Mac said "
if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
Andy said "
if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
Ben goes "
hold up guys if i wouldn't of popped a boner we wouldn't of never won!!!"

Once there was this woman, who was, sad to say, very flat across
the upper body. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted
women walking away with handsome guys finally got to her. She decided
that she would have large tits at any cost.
At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger
breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers
they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She
went everywhere, but everything she tried came to no avail.
So she went home and cried and prayed for larger tits. After
several days of this, during one praying session, there was this
sudden poof, and her fairy godmother appeared before her.
"Well, dearie, you want larger tits, do you?"
"Oh yes, oh yes, please fairy godmother, give me bigger tits. I
beg you," the woman implored.
"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll do it, if you promise to stop
bothering me. more...