India Jokes / Recent Jokes

'go back to africa, go back to india!'
'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...

Chota Miyan marries a naive young desi (country) londi (girl). On their Shaab-e-Aroosi (wedding night), he shows her his lund (penis) and tells her he's the only man to have such a thing.

Time passes by and after a few months, they are in bed one night when she grabs his organ & remarks, "You were lying when you told me you were the only man to have one of these. I've discovered that Ravana-Lingam from the Shudra Mohalla (neighbourhood) also has one as well."

Chota Miyan thinks quickly and replies, "Oh yes, that was a spare one I had, so I gave it to him."

"Oh Mehboob (darling)," she sighs. "Why did you have to give that Dravidian Admi (man) the biggest and best one ?"

In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other's country regularly.

The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re. 1.

When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.

Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!

Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India? "

A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long more...

(A sad story of a lion>. .>. ..> )
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one U. S. Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the U. S. Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a U. S. Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few
bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,'Don't you know I am the lion... king of the more...