India Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top Ten list. .. If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10. There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's' yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And. .. the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1. All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all more...
When God created the world, he could not help boasting to Brahma of the special favours he had bestowed on India. "I gave it the highest mountains and the broadest rivers in the world; I gave it enormous forests teaming with wild life; I gave it coal, gold and diamond mines. I gave it the best of everything."
"Was it fair to give one country so much wealth?"
asked Brahma.
"You should see the kind of people I put in India.
They will waste everything I gave them."
An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat.
The American asks :'Do you eat the bread entirely?'
The Indian answers,'Of course!'
American: 'We do not .We only eat the inner part.The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to India.'
The Indian says nothing.
The American continues,'Do you eat this jelly with the bread?'
Indian: 'Of course!'
American: 'We do not. We eat fresh fruits for breakfast and then put the seeds and peels into a container.Later it is processed and transformed to jelly and sold to India.'
The Indian finally asks,'And what do you do with the condoms after using them?'
American: 'We throw them away, of course!'
Indian: 'We do not. We keep them in containers, process them transform them into chewing gum and sell it to the United States.'
The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.
Better beware of them.
P. V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before
executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times
and finally does nothing.
V. P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used
instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions.
This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and
then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were
written by vegetarians or animals.
L. K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can
continue working is by more...
When the Indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from Russia to explain the Indidan Air Force & Army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from Russia because India buys their planes from Russia).
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the Indian Army " this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left_inner is to go left_inner and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"
The instuctor replied "Oh! Leave that to the Pakistanis".
Once santa singh was coming back from london to india after finishing his m. b. a. on his way to the airport he asked the taxidriver to ask him a logical question beacause he didn't want to look like a fool in front of his family in india. so the taxidriver asked him that his father had three sons. one is in ahmedabad, one is in australia and who is the third one? Santa sat there for about an hour but couldn't find an answer. so he eventually gave up. the driver told him that it was him, the taxidriver in london. when santa arrived in india his family threw a party for him. he was asked to ask a logical question. so he asked that his father had 3 sons. one is in usa, one is in africa and who is the third one. the people were not able to find the answer. so santa said that it is the taxidriver in london!!
Why are all Sikhs named Singh?" asked an Englishman of his friend Banta Singh.
"You see, it is like this," replied Banta Singh. "Justus you have kings in England, we have Singhs in India.