Inflation Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
how the tinsel was scattered! and twigs by the thous-
and. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-
They were skewered with ten-penny nails, to be fair.
The children, God bless them, were snug in their beds,
With clothesline to anchor the ankles and heads.
The Wife in her housecoat, and I clad alike,
Had gone to cellar to get the new bike,
When from a dark corner arose such a clatter
I felt a strong urge to forget the whole matter.
The wife said go over and open the door;
I grabbed a stout cudgel and crept' cross the floor
And gingerly peered through the glass to behold
A wee red-suited man, turning blue with cold.
Suppressing my dire thoughts of a communist trick,
I flung wide the portal, admitting..... St. Nick!
Poor Santa came in stamping snow from his feet
And cursing cold weather and all central heat.
"Your chimney's more...

Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.

"Grade inflation," where assigned grades creep higher and higher, is a concern for teachers. What's the logical limit of grade inflation?
F - Student appears to be a multicellular organism.
D - Student has mastered many autonomic bodily functions.
C - Student can operate a writing instrument without harming self or others.
B - Student is able to form a complete sentence, on the second or third try.
A - Student has marginal to excellent understanding of the course material.

The teacher was trying hard to explain the meaning of inflation - galloping rate of price rise without relevance to income levels did not register on the students. So the teacher tried to explain it by giving an, example:

"The price of the ticket for entry into Pragati Maidan for the India International Trade Fair is Rs. 4 per adult as against 50-paise it was five or six years ago. This is inflation. Did you get it?"

"Yes, Sir, this is trade fair inflation. What about the vast increase in the number of visitors to the trade fair?"

The teacher bewildered for a while replied, "Call it populous inflation."

Mar 18, 1997 (AP)
Following the recent announcement that all available humor has been used, and is now being recycled, a very unexpected reactionhas occurred in Congress. Responding to a flood of calls and letters,, members of both houses of Congress have come together to attempt to resolve the problem. In a rare show of bipartisan cooperation, a majority of Senators and Representatives signed a letter to the President asking him to release some of the US strategic reserves of humor.
It is a little known fact, but the United States keeps a large reserve of humor, in a manner similar to that in which oil reserves are stored. Located in abandoned salt caves buried deep in Louisiana, the humor is stored for times of national emergency and general unhappiness.
Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, in a statement made during a press conference to announce the letter stated: "The American people have spoken. The vas majority of the comments we have all received have been from more...