Influenza Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Least Popular Christmas Carols" (as sung by the Late Show Carolers)
As presented on the 12/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
"I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King"
"Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose"
"Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play"
"Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three"
"Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza"
"O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie"
"Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack"
"I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum"
"O.J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty"
"Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"

Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
GETTING ON
At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
EMBARKATION CARD
When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
GETTING OFF
Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...

- 10 -
"I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King"
- 9 -
"Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose"
- 8 -
"Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play"
- 7 -
"Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three"
- 6 -
"Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza"
- 5 -
"O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie"
- 4 -
"Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack"
- 3 -
"I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum"
- 2 -
"O. J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty"
- 1 -
"Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"

"Least Popular Christmas Carols" (as sung by the Late Show Carolers)
As presented on the 12/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN "I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King" "Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose" "Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play" "Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three" "Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza" "O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie" "Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack" "I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum" "O. J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty" "Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"