Injection Jokes

A man who suffered from impotence went to see his doctor for help. The doctor suggested he try a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands. Willing to give it a try, the man was given the injection.
Much to the man's delight, it worked. Nine months and one week later, his wife gave birth.
When the nurse came out of the delivery room to give him the news, the man excitedly asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"We won't know for sure until it comes down from the chandelier," the nurse replied.

A man has a toothache, so he goes to see his dentist.
After examining the tooth, the dentist tells the man he is going to have to give him an injection for the pain.
The man says, "No way! I don't want an injection."
The dentist replies, "OK, I'll give you gas."
"Noooo!" shrieks the man. "I don't want any gas."
"Fine," says the dentist, "I'm going to give you some Viagra!"
"Viagra?" exclaims the man. "What for?"
"You're going to need something to hang on to when I pull your tooth!"

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time".
The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options. .. either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the more...

One morning the Pope awoke in his bedchamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection.; Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 50 years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time". The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options... either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknownst to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the Vatican, and more...

On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exacty." The doctor then began listing orders:"You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between. Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition more...