Carbon Jokes

The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Paleoanthropology DivisionSmithsonian Institute207 Pennsylvania AvenueWashington, DC 20078Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. "Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu more...

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams

Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.

How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!

It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D. L. Bunker

Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.

Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds,
biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that wriggle.

The following is an approximation of an item in the New Yorker (the
kind that appear at the ends of articles in the back) that refers to a
correction printed by some newspaper I don't remember. (I read it in
a dentist's office and don't have it in front of me now.)
"Dear Abby said yesterday that one cure for hiccups is to use carbon
monoxide. The correct treatment uses carbon dioxide."
The New Yorker's comment? "Too late."

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. - Mike Adams
Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.
How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!
It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. -quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)
Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T - D.L. Bunker
Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.