Injury Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bubba came visitin' up north, and decided he wanted to go and do something he could never do in South Alabama...
. .... SNOW SKIING. .....
Unfortunately, before he ever made it UP the hill so's he could *try* and come DOWN the hill on ski's, he was knocked unconscious by the chairlift.
He called his insurance company from the hospital, but they said they were refusing to cover the injury.
"WHAT?!?" yelled Bubba at the phone. "And just why wouldn't you cover an injury like this?" he complained.
"You got hit in the head by a chairlift," Bubba's insurance rep said. "That makes you a moron... and we consider that to be a pre-existing condition."
LA Galaxy star David Beckham will likely miss up to six more weeks after suffering a knee injury in a recent match.
The injury would have been less severe, but Posh Spice had borrowed his knee pads that day.
Bubba decided to visit Colorado to do something he could never do back home... snow skiing.
Unfortunately for Bubba, before he was even able to make it up the hill, he was knocked unconscious by the chairlift.
As soon as he could, he called his insurance company from the hospital only to be told that they were refusing to cover his injury.
"What do you mean?!?" Bubba screamed. "Why wouldn't you cover an injury like this?"
"You got hit in the head with a chairlift," the insurance rep. explained. "That makes you a moron... and we consider that to be a pre-existing condition."
Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European skier on a U. S. mountain. An appropriate reply: "What Zermatter?" Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See also: Blizzard, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse. Bindings: Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from potentially serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers, and so on and on, eventually causing the entire slope to be protected from serious injury. Bones: There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: TWO bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident. Cross-Country Skiing: Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain snow-travelling technique. It's good exercise. It doesn't require the purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. It more...
BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY A repeat offender got alife sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Martstore. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard - which turned hispetty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than threeyears ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for lifewithout the possibility of parole.INSULT TO INJURY An unemployed sanitationworker in Miami is also facing life in prison - for shooting himself in the privates. Ina drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun wentoff, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someoneelse had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in hisunderwear. Cops ruled the shooting accidental, but the man more...
* Emergency Rooms will tell you one of the most common injury suffered in falling out of bed for a guy is a broken dick. Although the penis does not have a "bone" it is full of erectile tissue that can be bent too far to the point of snapping. This type of injury requires surgery to correct. Often it can result in massive hemorrhaging.
* The man who accidentally sent a knee into his lovers face in the dark as he climbed up to *** ***k her. Broke her nose, blackened both her eyes and knocked out three teeth, one of which had to be dug out of his kneecap. It had dug down to the bone and stuck there.
* Getting nailed in the nuts is no joke either, a friend of mine got an unintended knee in the groin when he and his girl were changing positions and the impact ruptured a vein. His ball sack filled with blood. It swelled to a diameter of seven inches and turned black on the way to the hospital. The good folks at the Emergency Room had to lance it upon arrival and it more...
Tom Brady left a pre-season game with what appeared to be a shoulder injury. For those of you who have him on your fantasy team, you're still a dork for having a fantasy team.