Inspector Jokes / Recent Jokes

With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus's sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and it is also okay. Then he says, "Santa, lets take it up for a check ride and if everything looks good I'll certify you to fly."Santa hitches the reindeer up and taxis onto the runway and just as he's starting his takeoff roll he looks over and notices the inspector has a pump shotgun on his lap. "Hey! Whats the shotgun for!?" Santa yells. The inspector says, "Well, Santa, I'm really not supposed to tell you this, but there is going to be an engine failure on takeoff."

Son- Father What Is The Spelling Of Inspector?
Father- Why Are You Asking?
Son- Today My Teacher Asked Me To Write Down My Father's Occupation But I Did'nt Know The Spelling Of Inspector.
Father- So What Did You Write?
Son- I Wrote Washerman Instead.

A railway inspector and his friend in a bar chating...
Friend: Why have you got that big smile on your face.
Railway inspector: I just had the best sex of my life!
Friend: with who?
Railway inspector: With this girl I found on the railway tracks.
Friend: Oh yeah! What did she look like?
Railway inspector: She had the most amazing body!
Friend: Oh yeah! But what did she look like?
Railway inspector: She had the most amazing legs!
Friend: But what did she look like?
Railway inspector: She had perfect breasts!
Friend: Yeah but what did she look like!
Railway inspector: Don't know never found the head.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big
smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show
them what's happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.
"Englishman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress.
Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.
The DI is taken to the second dead man. "Scotsman, 25, won a
thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of
alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
" Nothing unusual here", thinks the DI, and asks to be shown
the last body. "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. To which the coroner
replies: "Thought he was having his picture taken,".

Ed was applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
When they met, the inspector decided to give Ed a pop quiz. "What would you do if you realized that two trains were headed towards each other on the same track?" the inspector asked.
"I would switch one of the trains to another track," answered Ed.
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then, I would run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there," a confident Ed replied.
"What if that lever had been struck by lightning?" the inspector challenged.
"In that case," Ed continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?" the inspector asked.
"Well, then I would run to the street level and use the public phone near the station," Ed argued.
"What if it had been more...

The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"

An inspector of schools went to a government-aided school and put the following question to students of the sixth class:' You have read the Ramayana. Tell me who broke Shiva's dhanush?'
Only one boy raised his hand:' Sir, I do not know who broke it but it was not me.'
The inspector turned to the teacher and reprimanded him for not having done his job. The teacher replied:' Sir, the boy is very naughty. I am sure it was he who broke it, but will not admit it.'
The inspector went to the headmaster and narrated the whole story. After hearing him the headmaster said:' Why make a fuss about such a petty thing. Whatever is broken is broken for ever. While paying us the grant you may deduct the price of a new dhanush and pay the balance.'