Instant Jokes / Recent Jokes

** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

** To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

** Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.

** To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

** To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top.

** Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.

** When a cake recipe calls for flouring more...

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone.
Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.
Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy a mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #4: To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way #5: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on more...

The Year 2038 Problem...
Test it now...
Steps...
1. Login to yahoo messenger
2. Send instant message to anyone - fine, it's working...
3. Now, change your system date to 19-Jan-2038, 03:14:07 AM or above
(as mentioned in mail)
4. Confirm whether your date is changed
5. Again send instant message to anyone...
Your YM crahes...
* * * YES ALL NETWORK BASED APPLICATION WILL NOT WORK NOW * * *
Why...? What is it?
Starting at GMT 03:14:07, Tuesday, January 19, 2038, it is expected to see lots of systems around the world breaking magnificently: satellites falling out of orbit, massive power outages (like the 2003 North American blackout), hospital life support system failures, phone system interruptions, banking errors, etc. One second after this critical second, many of these systems will have wildly inaccurate date settings, producing all kinds of unpredictable consequences. In short, many of the dire predictions for the year 2000 are much more...

I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.