Instructor Jokes / Recent Jokes

If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions...
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say, "Oh geez, better get cracking." and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring more...

If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions... Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
Bring cheerleaders.
Walk in, get the more...

A newfie wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the newfie to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The newfie understood and was ready. The time came to have the newfie jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The newfie proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the newfie. The newfie seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Having grown tired of her career, a gynecologist decided to make a change and become a mechanic. She found out what was involved from her local tech college, signed up for evening classes, attended faithfully, and learned all that she could.
As the time for the practical exam approached, she carefully prepared for weeks and passed the exam with remarkable skill.
When she received her results, she was shocked to see that she had been given a grade of 150%. Fearing an error may have been made, she spoke with the instructor.
"I don't wish to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding mark, but I was wondering if there had been an error which might need adjusting," she said.
"During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly," replied the instructor. "That was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which was also worth 50% of the mark. The extra 50% I gave you is because you did all of it through the more...

Flugg's Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.
Franklin's Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.
Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the more...

Mathematics Instructor of the Ministry of Education visited a leading school in Colombo to check the Mathematics knowledge of the students. He entered the Grade 10 class and told the students, I want you all to answer this question using your mathematics knowledge.
Then he told the class, This morning I traveled to your school by bus. When I got into the bus two other passengers too boarded the bus while five passengers got down. I bought a Rs. 5. 00 ticket. At the next halt four passengers boarded the bus while three passengers got down.
On the way at the other bus halts several passengers got in and got off the bus. When I got down from the bus there were ten passengers left in the bus.
Now my question is, How old am I?
The class teacher and the students were thoroughly confused and were dumb struck! !!.
One student raised his hand and said, Sir you are 48 years old.
The instructor was surprised as he was exactly 48 years old. Then he asked that student more...

An instructor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sexy-looking young lady knocked on his door.

"Yes," he replied, "how may I help you?"

The young lady said, "I need to talk to you about my grade in your class."

"Come in and have a seat," said the instructor.

"Is there anything I can do to get an' A' in your class?"

"What do you mean by anything?" he replied.

"Anything," she said.

"Anything?" he said again.

She said in her best sultry voice, "I mean anything."

The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, "Would you study?"