Insults Jokes / Recent Jokes
First boy: A little bird told me what kind of lawyer your father is.
Second boy: What did he say?
First boy: Cheep! Cheep!
Second boy: Oh yeah. Well, a duck just told me what kind of doctor your father is.
Auntie: When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like it.
Little Joan: Well, you can't say you weren't warned, Auntie.
Look, I'm not going to engage in a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who's unarmed.
a blonde and a brunette have been fighting for over an hour about the sun.
The brunette yells,"THE SUN IS A STAR!!!"
The blonde yells,"NO IT'S EVERYONE IN THE WORLD'S FARTS!"
The brunette says to the blonde,"Girl, you couldn't play any stupider!"
Shocked, the blonde says in reply,"Who's playing?"
A Marine Colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual, nothing is moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what seems to be the hold up?"
The officer replies, "The President is just so depressed that Hillary has moved to New York, and may leave him altogether that he just stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway, and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family absolutely hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers for that whole Monica and Paula thing. So I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."
"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
"So far about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of more...