Insured Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against. ... get this. ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet
to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued. .. and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance more...

Back during the Solidarity days, I heard that the following joke was
being told in Poland:
A man goes into the Bank of Gdansk to make a deposit. Since he has
never kept money in a bank before, he is a little nervous.
"What happens if the Bank of Gdansk should fail?" he asks.
"Well, in that case your money would be insured by the Bank of Warsaw."
"But, what if the Bank of Warsaw fails?"
"Well, there'd be no problem, because the Bank of Warsaw is insured by
the National Bank of Poland."
"And if the National Bank of Poland fails?"
"Then your money would be insured by the Bank of Moscow."
"And what if the Bank of Moscow fails?"
"Then your money would be insured by the Great Bank of the Soviet
Union."
"And if that bank fails?"
"Well, in that case, you'd lose all your money. But, wouldn't it be
worth it?"
David-Fiske

A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against... get this... fire.
After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally. The man sued.
The judge stated that since the company had insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay.
After the man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him arrested... for arson...

Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service.
The first one said, "When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the World Trade Center, Tower 1. One of our insured who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as passed our floor."

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.... and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable "fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and more...