Intelligent Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
While visiting England recently, George W. Bush was invited to have tea with the Queen.
Given his recent political problems, he decides to take advantage of her years of leadership experience and asks her for her advice. She responds that she surrounds herself with the most intelligent people she can find and lets them do their jobs.
Intrigued with this novel theory, Bush asks her how she is able to tell if the people are intelligent.
"I do so by asking them a test question" responds the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
The Queen then dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me."
"I'll do my best, Your Majesty" responds Blair.
"Your mother has a child and your father has a child" says the Queen. "The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"
Tony Blair more...
Paddy was the most intelligent man in Ireland. He was the president of the Irish branch of Mensa and he had won a million pounds on Who wants to be a Millionaire, and was Professor of astrophysics at the Paddy Institute of Technology.
One day, he was in the pub and his mates were telling him that he should appear on Mastermind, the quiz where the most intelligent men on the planet, show their superior brainpower. So he filled in the forms and sure enough was called up, and over to London he went to appear on the show.
The moment came when he was called up to the chair, to be questioned.
"Paddy, what is your specialist subject?"
"Irish History."
"Paddy your minute starts now. Who was the leader of the Irish Revolution?"
"Pass."
"In what year was the revolution?"
"Pass."
"How many men died during the Easter Revolution?"
"Pass."
"What was the name of the more...
One day The Lord spoke to Adam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.
Adam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D. C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball.
After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down on this one."
Kanye West told Complex Magazine he is the most intelligent rapper in the world. He made the claim after successfully counting to eight.
By Doug Chagnon