Intelligent Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA -- they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA asked everyone to be quiet as he was receiving a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," he said with a broad smile on his face, "After twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible... we could never do it... yes, Mr. President," and hung up the phone.He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in the Congress."

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.
Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one more...

Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies mark it as at least a misdemeanor.

George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War III".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one intelligent blonde.
The guy exclaimed, "Intelligent blonde! Why kill a blonde?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Adam?" God replies. "Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Adam?" comes the reply from the heavens. "Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely. "Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a' woman' for you." "What's a' woman', Lord?" "This' woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens more...

Once there were two friends one had no brain his name was mad and one was very intelligent. One day mad was crying and the intelligent boy saw mad that he was crying so the intellingent asked mad that what is ur problem and mad answered that the thief stole his cow. So the intelligent boy said that go to police station and file and fir. So the mad said that i dont know how to file an fir. the intelligent boy told him that go to the police station and tell the police officer that somebody stole his cow and that day stars were shinning, dogs were barking and the theif picked up the cow and ran away. So the mad went to the police station and said this to the police officer: "somebody stole my cow, and that day stars were barking, dogs were shinning and the cow picked up the thief and ran away. the police officer!!!!!!

Captain Kirk and an away team, searching for intelligent life on other planets, traveled down to Earth after going through a time disturbance cloud, landing in Washington D.C. right in the middle of Clinton's inaugural ball.
After looking around, Kirk says: "Beam us up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down on this one."