Interest Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Of course I'm not losing interest in our lovemaking, sweetheart...."
"I'm simply making love slowly so the ashes don't fall off my cigarette onto the sheets."
A maadu named Hariharan lived in New York city. Once he went to a bank to request a loan of $5000 as he was about to leave for a business trip to Europe. The bank agreed for the loan but asked for a guarantee. The maadu immediately handed the bank manager the keys to his brand new rolls royce that was parked downstairs. The bank people agreed and parked the rolls royce in their parking lot. The maadu took the $5000 and went to Europe. He returned after a week. The bank asked him $12.50 interest on the loan. The maadu payed the amount and the interest and was about to leave before the bank manager stopped him for a minute. The manager told the maadu that he was pleased to do business with the maadu but he also told that, 'sir, we checked your accounts and we came to know that you are a millionaire, then why did you borrow just $5000 from us?' the maadu replied,' it's not the $5000 that matter, what matters is that I couldn't have found a parking for my car in $12.50 for 1 week.'
Men should never marry a woman for her beauty alone. That is rather like buying a house just because you like the way it's painted. My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day. My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm damn lucky to have them. My other wife is beautiful. My wife and I have a perfect understanding; I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine. My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gawd, I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors. Nowadays, the only place a single woman can find the best man is at a wedding. One of the safest ways to assure a happy marriage is more...
A husband with a computer addictionMy Dear Husband,
I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO. The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him.
Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.
I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more more...
Excerpts taken from real letters sent to' Dear Abby'
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Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?-- Curious
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Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
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Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with more...
Reportedly heard on the Financial News Network yesterday.
New issue bonds by the government just came out:
Dole BondNo interest
Clinton BondNo principal
Gingrich BondNo maturity
Forbes BondNo taxes (for qualifying investors)
Buchanon BondOnly Americans can collect (foreign investors welcome)
Heidi Fleiss BondGuaranteed high interest until withdrawal but substantial penalty for early withdrawal
A young man graduated from the University of Alabama with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper that hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Alabama, he went back to the country to do his research.
He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and proceeded to explain to him why he was there. The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We all screwed it, then took it home."
"I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?"
After another moment, the farmer said, "Yep! One time my neighbor's daughter, a real good lookin' gal, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we more...