Ireland Jokes / Recent Jokes

In light of the vicious custody battle over their daughter Ireland, a judge has ordered Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger to begin using separate names for her.

Mr. Baldwin will call her "Sinn Fein," and Ms. Basinger will refer to her simply as "The Ulster Unionist".

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland!"
Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin!"
The second man can't help himself so he asks, "What school did you attend?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in' 62."
"This is becoming unbelievable!!!" They say in union.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the more...

From the people who brought you "Buckets of Blood 3"
yes, it's the:
N. I. H. E. Dublin, Ireland
B.A. in COMMUNICATION STUDIES
Final year exam 1989
Time: 9 am till opening time.
Candidates must not write on more than two sides of the exam paper.
Marks will be deducted for bad spelling and writing which is difficult
to read.
1. What language is spoken by French Canadians?
2. Give important characteristics of ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions or give the
first names of the Osmonds.
3. What religion is the Pope? [Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, Anglican (ONE only)].
4. Who won the Second World War? Who came second?
5. What is a silver dollar made of? Gold, Silver, polyvinylchloride (ONE only).
6. Explain Le Chatelier's principal of dynamic equilibrium
force or spell your name in BLOCK capitals.
7. Approximately how many commandments were give more...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply. The first man then asks: Where are you from? I'm from Ireland, replies the second man. The first man responds: You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland. Of Course, replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks:"Where in Ireland are you from? Dublin, comes the reply. I can't believe it, says the first man." I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin. Of course, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: What school did you go to? Saint Mary's, replies the second man. I graduated in 62. This is unbelievable! the first man says. I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in' 62, too! About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. What's been going on? he asks the bartender. Nothing much, replies the bartender. The O'Malley twins are drunk again.

A drunk man stumbles into the bar to the only other customer and asks if the man would buy him a drink.
The second man says yes.
They have a drink, and the first man decides to fill the quiet gap.
He asks, "So where you from?"
The second man replies, "Ireland."
The first man says, "WOW! Me too. Let's drink to Ireland."
They drink and the second man says, "So what part of Ireland ya from?"
The first man says, "Dublin. So...what school did you go to?"
The second man says, "St. Sebastians. Graduated in 1969."
The first man astonished says, "ME TOO! Damn, what a coincidence."
Just then a regular comes in the bar and asks the bartender what's going on.
The bartender replies, "Nothin' much. The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!" At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Ill give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texans offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya dont mind me askin, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?". The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".