Irs Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Gettysburg Address Is 269 Words, The Declaration Of Independence Is 1, 337 Words, And The Holy Bible Is Only 773, 000 Words. However, The Us Tax Law Has Grown From 11, 400 Words In 1913, To 7 Million Words Today.
There Are At Least 480 Different Tax Forms, Each With Many Pages Of Instructions.
Even The Easiest Form, The 1040ez Has 33 Pages In Instructions, And All In Fine Print.
The Irs (Internal Revenue Service - Us Taxing Authority) Sends Out 8 Billion Pages Of Forms And Instructions Each Year. Laid End To End, They Would Stretch 28 Times Around The Earth.
Nearly 300, 000 Trees Are Cut Down Yearly To Produce The Paper For All The Irs Forms And Instructions.
American Taxpayers Spend $200 Billion And 5. 4 Billion Hours Working To Comply With Federal Taxes Each Year, More Than It Takes To Produce Every Car, Truck, And Van In The United States.
The Burden Of Compliance Is The Equivalent To A Staff Of 3 Million People more...
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.' Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.' Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel. The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
WARNING: May be offensive to animal lovers, flood victims, Timothy McVeigh, Dan Quayle, Clarence Thomas, AOL, Lousianians, British Royalty, Los Angelenos, the IRS, smokers, President Clinton, Mafiosi, airline luggage handlers AND airline food preparers Includes reference to drug use, sex, God and doo doo heads...
Well folks, it's springtime, when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, while his remote turns to the NCAA tournament.
After President Clinton injured his knee, his press secretary was asked if he had been given painkillers. The answer,' Yes, but he didn't swallow them.'
Al Gore is taking heat for his role in campaign fundraising. In true vice presidential form, he issued a statement saying,' This is becoming a real hot potatoe.'
The IRS wants to improve its image. They will no longer answer the phone with' Next victim', and their new mascot' Timmy the Tax Collector' will replace the Grim Reaper. (Daily Scoop)
Liggett Group Inc. is going to more...
Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household.
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "All generalizations are false." "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." "I love cats... they taste just like chicken""Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle." "Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons." "Born Free.. . . . Taxed to Death""Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools""Happiness is a belt-fed weapon""The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Conserve toilet paper, use both sides." "REHAB is for quitters""I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!""Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her more...