Irs Jokes / Recent Jokes

An IRS agent stepped into a synagogue looking for the rabbi.
"Rabbi," he said when he found him," do you know a Mr. Morris Katz?"
"Well, yes, I do," said the rabbi.
"Is he a member of your congregation?" asked the agent.
"Uh, yes, he is," said the rabbi, "why do you ask?"
"I'm from the IRS. Can you tell me something? Did he make the $100, 000 donation to the synagogue, that he claimed on his tax return?" asked the IRS agent.
"I would have to check our records," replied the rabbi, "but if he hasn't, I can assure you that he will!"

If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). -- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. -- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. -- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. -- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. -- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, more...

If Microsoft Ran The IRS

"Government should be run like a business." We`ve all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody`s favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).

-- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft`s example and actually ship them the following May.

-- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users` group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.

-- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country`s intellectual property.

-- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.

-- more...

IRS Agent: Whats all this? Bracken: Well, you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Heres some by Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette, and Garth Brooks. . .

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Boston Globe, April 13, 1990Is there justice in this world? Well, in Jacksonville, Fla., an Internal Revenue Service car parked outside the federal courthouse was "booted" for unpaid parking tickets, forcing tax collectors to fork over $122. 50 to set it free. The IRS had to pay $95 for five tickets, a $25 removal fee plus $2. 50 for processing to get the boot taken off, said Gertrude Bradley, clerical supervisor for the city parking division. With the tax-filing deadline closing in, courthouse employees were chuckling about the IRS' misfortune. But the agency was not amused."We're not pleased with it," said spokesman Holger Euringer. Yeah, we're all really upset.

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a realtor’s office: “Lots for little. ”
Sign in a shoe store: “Come in and have a fit. ”
Sign in a maternity clothes store: “We are open on labor day. ”
Sign in a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ”
Sign on the door of the maternity ward: “Push Push Push. ”
Sign at entrance of the IRS: “Watch your step. ”
Sign at the exit of the IRS: “Watch your mouth. ”
Sign in a bookstore: “We treat you write. ”
Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. ”

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1, 000. 00 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1, 000. 00, and asked the little man, "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or more...