Irs Jokes / Recent Jokes
The IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.-Conan O'Brien
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States.
Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of…
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we’re not counting on it.
Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I’ll open it.
Caller: I’m a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It’s the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?
Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It’s very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.
Bob goes to his friend to ask for advice. Bob tells the friend he is to be audited by the IRS, and is wondering how he shoud dress. Should he wear a suit, so as to look professional, or should he wear old raggedy clothes so that he looks like he has no money and hope that the IRS takes pity on him.
The friend responds, "I'm going to tell you what I told my niece when she was getting married. She came to me and asked if she should wear the most beautiful dress she could find, of if she would be better off wearing a plainer, more subtle dress. I told her, "It doesn't matter what you wear, you're going to get screwed either way."
The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States.
Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.
Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.
Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It's the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?
Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.