Islands Jokes / Recent Jokes

The questions are as follows: 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR Sardar asks for help from the University students 3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 4) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT Sardar gives up. If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below: 1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453 2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador 3) The October revolution is celebrated in November 4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name. 5) more...

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.
"Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa.
"Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"
He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"
The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "And that?"
The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for `rock` and for `palm tree`!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means `index finger`!"

After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander
was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically
performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them
that Her Majesty's Army had committed to reward each of the three
soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different
parts of the man's body.
The commander addressed the first soldier, "Where would you like
to be measured, Sergeant?" "From the tip of me head to the soles
of me feet, Sir!" he replied. "Very good!," the commander said,
and the sergeant was measured at 6'5." He was paid the handsome
sum of 7000 pounds.
The second soldier was asked, "What about you, Corporal?" "Between
the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!" the corporal
said. "Very good!" replied the commander. The corporal, a man of
considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 more...

LOS ANGELES, CA (DPI) - After El Nino brought only moderate rain to the West Coast, the National Weather Service was forced to admit that the much-hyped El Nino was indeed a hoax.
The infamous "radar" depictions of the swirling weather system were no more than infra-red photographs of a flushing toilet uploaded onto satellites by a couple of teenage pranksters.
In the interest of good taste, the NWS would not describe how the teenagers simulated the Boktu Islands being spun around and swallowed up by the ocean, but admit that "maybe someone should have called Boktu before giving the islands Atlantis status."
The NWS confessed that they were surprised people actually listened to their local weather person in the first place, saying, "I mean, look at them for goodness's sake, they're rodeo clowns in suits."
Reported by Dave James
The Daily Probe, December 22, 1997 [email protected]

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.

The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

Tiger Woods recently spent a good bit of time in the Virgin Islands. There is now a proposal on the table to rename them "The Islands"

Weird News: Minks in the WaterFrom the Daily Collegian:
Stockholm, Sweden - In an embarrassing admission, Defense Ministry analysts say many signals detected by their navy's high-tech buoys - and thought to be foreign submarines - were just the sounds of swimming minks.
The report - coming after the military conceded that an animal set off a weeks-long sub hunt in the Baltic Sea last spring - was leaked to the Dagens Nyheter newspaper and published yesterday.
It said most of the suspicious sounds heard in the islands around Stockholm since the end of the Cold War were minks and other mammals swishing and splashing as they searched for food. Minks, about the size of cats, are plentiful on the islands. They usually feed on the surface, but sometimes dive for crayfish on the bottom.