Italian Jokes / Recent Jokes

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

body: A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian." Curious, he buys a ticket.
The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it is an old retired Italian. Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Italian is carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the Amazing Italian." He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket.
Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The Italian stands before more...

Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian? He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but don't expect results.

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"He thinks a second and he says, "Its a nice-a day!"

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You`re in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You`re in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You`re in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left more...

In Heaven 1. The cooks are French,
2. The policemen are English,
3. The mechanics are German,
4. The lovers are Italian,
5. The bankers are Swiss. In Hell 2. The policemen are German,
3. The mechanics are French,
4. The lovers are Swiss,
5. The bankers are Italian. In Computer Heaven
1. The management is from Intel,
2. The design and construction is done by Apple,
3. The marketing is done by Microsoft,
4. IBM provides the support,
5. Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell 1. The management is from Apple,
2. Microsoft does design and construction,
3. IBM handles the marketing,
4. The support is from Gateway,
5. Intel sets the price.