Italian Jokes / Recent Jokes

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Italians, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line. The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The Manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus. At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Manager. The Manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did. Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had more...

The Supply Guy An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You`re in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You`re in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you`re in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn`t have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn`t find him." So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn`t shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn`t get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn`t find him." The foreman is really upset more...

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl! !!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl! !!"

There where these three guys; a Polish guy, an Italian
guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they
notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together
and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too. The boss
left and so did they.
The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so nhe can get an early start. The
Italian guy goes home and cook dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his
bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss; he
quietly shuts the door and leaves.
The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early
again. They ask the Polish
guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, "NO WAY."
They ask him " why not?"
"Because", said the Polish guy; "yesterday i almost
got caught! "

Mind reader
My cousin Moishe owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in North West London, a furniture store.
I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to check out the merchandise himself and because he was still single, he could check out all the hot Italian women, and maybe get lucky.
As Moishe was checking into a hotel, he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English, so neither understood a word the other spoke.
He took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner. After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of more...

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law."No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

An Italian walks into a bar with a bad knee and notices a guy sitting at the end of the bar. He walks the bartender who it was. The bartender told him it was Jesus. The Italian ordered a drink for himself and Jesus. Next, a carpenter walks in. He asked if that was Jesus. He then ordered a drink for himself and for Jesus. Finally, a redneck walks in and orders a drink for himself and Jesus. A few minutes later, Jesus gets up and goes to the Italian. He thanked him for his generosity and healed him. Jesus walked over to the carpenter, thanked him, and healed him. Then, he walked over to the redneck. The redneck jumped up and shouted," Don't heal me, I'm on disability!"