James Jokes / Recent Jokes

James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation. Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, "James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted, windows are closed and locked, burglar alarm is on, doors are locked, and I'll go wait in the car and keep blowing the horn."

Bible ConfusionThe little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first little children`s Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when she was very young.Now, a decade or so later, the elderly lady was ready to spend a fewsweet moments handing down the big old family Bible, in the time-honoredKing James Version, to her only grandchild.Understandably excited, the youngster was asking a number of questions,both about the family members whose births and deaths were recordedtherein, and about various aspects of the Scriptures themselves.Her grandmother was endeavoring to answer all the child`s questions in terms she could understand, but the one that stopped her cold was this sincere inquiry:"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? Was it the Virgin Mary, or the King James virgin?"

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington." How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee. Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you... What the more...

Once it so happened in a flight that, james bond was sitting besides a telugu guy both were traveling to us.
Telugu guy: hello may i know your name please?
James bond: i am bond… james bond……. And you?
Telugu guy: i am sai… venkata sai… siva venkata sai … laxminarayana
Siva venkata sai… srinivasula laxminarayana siva venkata sai…
Rajasekhara srinivasula laxminarayana siva venkata sai… sitaramanjaneyula
Rajasekhara srinivasula laxminarayana siva venkata sai… bulusupalli
Sitaramanjaneyula rajasekhara srinivasula laxminarayana siva venkata sai…
Bond faints!!!!

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball." I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted. 007," his wife added.

Q: What's the dumbest thing you can do with e-mail?
A: Ask Christopher James Reincke about his message to President Clinton:
"I am curious, Bill, how you would feel about being the first president to be killed on the same day as his wife... You will die soon..."
He signed it "Overlord." Sure he sent it anonymously, but anonymous e-mail is for protecting yourself from nasty, late-night phone calls, not the Secret Service.
With help from the university, they tracked him down and arrested him. He was released without bail, pending a hearing, and faces five years in jail and up to a $250,000 fine. Don't try this at home.
(Interned World, July/August, 1994: 17)
Which of the following are true about Christopher James Reincke:
Believes that Rush Limbaugh gives a balanced report of news
Tells ugly Chelsea jokes
Member of Young Americans for Freedom and College Republicans
Believes that American has lost its moral moorings, like more...

why theres a show call everyone hates chris ?
because everyone hates lebron james