James Jokes / Recent Jokes
lebron james: hey babe after the miami heat basketball game vs the mavericks for the championship what do you wanna do
Dwyane Wade: i was thinking to work at kfc and after that i was thinking for sex is that ok hunny ?
lebron james:yeah i guess is ok because i feel like i wanna get fucked up with u tonight
Dwyane Wade:thats good but first show me your ring and ill show you mine
lebron james : i dont have one:( sorry do you
Dwyane Wade: :( nope me neither ifeel like i wanna cry in your arms hunny
lebron james : me too :(
Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot.
As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, "Okay, everybody, we're going to rape all the men and rob all the women!"
Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, "ah, Jessie, don't you mean we're going to rob all the men and rape all the women?"
With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says...
"Listen, you heard Jessie...he's the boss!"
Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot.As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, "Okay, everybody, we're going to rape all the men and rob all the women!"Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, "ah, Jessie, don't you mean we're going to rob all the men and rape all the women?"With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says..."Listen, you heard Jessie...he's the boss!"
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball."I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition.""Batted .007," his wife added.
Phil, James, and Adam died and went to heaven. but there was a rule that you cant jump on clouds or else you will get a really ugly husband/wife. but Phil and James went off and did it anyway and got really ugly wifes. The next day Phil and James walked by Adam and he had a really hot wife and they asked him how he got her and he said... she jumped on a cloud.
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the
pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr.
Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind, "You wanted to end the Americans'
liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the
Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a
large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke,
James Monroe and 65 other 18th century American revolutionaries. As he
writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he
screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel more...
1991 - A Montana State University chemistry professor claimed in March that he was wrongfully accused of being drunk after an accident (which occurred while he was on work-release for a previous (drunk driving sentence). While a state trooper found him "highly intoxicated," the professor said a chemical explosion in his lab caused him to smell and act drunk and that his statement to the trooper about having consumed a six-pack of beer was merely incoherent babbling" because of the trauma of the accident.
1992 - Steven L. Johnson, 40, sentenced to two years in prison in Brookings, S.D., in April for drunk driving, explained to the judge: "I enjoyed drinking while driving. It's one of the most pleasurable habits I've had."
1993 - Only days apart, two Wisconsin men arrived in court drunk for their trials on drunken-driving charges. Both denied they had been drunk while driving, and both denied they were drunk in the courtroom. James Heard had a 0.26 more...