Jeff Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a guy who worked at the grocery store named Jeff. One day a guy named Phil came in and looked for the chocolate. Jeff said,' 'I'm so sorry. We just ran out of chocolate.''

"Okay." said Phil.

Then Phil started to look around and Jeff asked, "Now What are you looking for?"

"I'm still looking for the chocolate."

"Okay fine. " said Jeff. "Spell STRAW in strawberry."

"S-T-R-A-W" "Now spell BLUE in blueberry." "B-L-U-E"

"Good. Now spell FREAK in chocolate."

"There is no FREAK in chocolate!"

one day at school jeffs teacher said step into my office.he said ok the teacher told him to take off all of his clothes. he said ok.then jeff says take off your bra and pantys.then they start having sex. jeffs parents come in and says jeff srewherfaster. jeff says im trying mommy im trying.

Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff. "Yep", replies Bob. "Say, where did you get the six-pack?" Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me.""WHAT??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??" "Sure," Bob says. "WHY?" asks Jeff. "Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her,' are you Steve's widow?'' Widow?', she said,' no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!' So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'"

Jeff and Mike were in an accident, and killed instantly. Upon Jeff's arrival to the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peters replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous sexy blonde in a bikini, and a keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell." says Jeff."It's not as it appears to be." says St. Peter. "You
see, the keg has a hole in it, and the blonde doesn't."

Jeff Foxworthy in the Middle ages
You know you're Castle Trash if...
Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted You can't afford a cod piece... nobody notices You have more sheep dogs than sheep You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to have... The plague improved your complexion... but only for a little while The Pope sends you to the Crusades... in Norway Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom You won "most improved " at the tournament They call your daughter made Marian Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before discomfort" Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face."

Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico. They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine... but what the heck is a pinata?"