Jobs Jokes / Recent Jokes
Wal-Mart Stores Inc. will cut about 11,200 jobs at Sam's Club warehouses as it turns over the task of product demonstrations to an outside company A spokesman for Wal-Mart said the jobs will be outsourced to India. So if you want to sample the onion dip before buying it, you'll have to fly to Calcutta.
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.
When do burgers quit their jobs? The day they decide to meat LOAF!
The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.
The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 300 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.
The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.
At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was more...
Recommended=Me encoded Mr
Unrated=Rude ant
Random jokes=Mad jerk on so
Animal jokes=I'm anal jokes
At Work jokes=Jerk two as OK
Bar jokes=Jerk a sob
Blond jokes=Old jobs keen
Children=Lend rich
Children jokes=Jerk nice holds
College=Cell ego
College jokes=Ego jokes cell
Gross jokes=SOS! Go jerks
Insults=In sluts
Insults jokes=Jesus! To links
Knock-Knock=Conk con KKK
Knock-Knock jokes=Jokes conk con KKK
Lawyer jokes=Sleek raw joy
Lightbulb=Blight Bul
Lightbulb jokes=The jobs kill bug
Medical=Decimal
Medical jokes=Decimal jokes
Men / Women=Now. Men me
Men / Women jokes=Men jokes now. Me
News / Politics=Win top slices
News / Politics jokes=Win jokeless topics
one-liner=Senile nor
one-liner jokes=On sleeker joins
Puns jokes=Junk poses
Redneck=Red neck
Redneck jokes=Knocked jeers
Religious=Is or guile
Religious jokes=O Jesus! OK girlie
Sports jokes=Jerk posts more...
NEG FRI FRI FRI THU
WED TUE
8 7 6 5 4 32
16 15 14 12 11 10
9
23 22 21 20 19 18
17
32 30 28 27 26 25
24
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3433
1. This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs.
All rush jobs are wanted yesterday. With this
calendar a job can be ordered on the 7th and delivered
on the 3rd.
2. Most jobs are required by Friday, so there are three
Fridays in every week.
3. There are eight new days added to each month to allow
for end-of-the-month panic jobs.
4. There is no 1st of the month - thus avoiding late
delivery of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs.
5. Monday morning hangovers are abolished together with
non-productive Saturdays and Sundays.
6. A new day - Negotiation Day - has been introduced keeping
the other days free for uninterrupted panic.
Microsoft just invested $150 million in Apple stock. Why? We think the reasons are obvious:
Bill Gates found spare change in his trousers
First and last month's rent on empty office space in Cupertino
Fee: Steve Jobs to give charisma lessons to Microsoft CEO
Two words: Rhapsody 98
Small price to pay for world domination
Bill to Larry: I own you now, too
Jobs and Woz threw in a signed Apple I as part of the deal
Best way to assure Gates a starring role in next Pixar animated feature
Easier than bribing entire Justice Department
Strategic move: Apple users now hate Jobs more than Gates