Johnston Jokes

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with an IRS tax auditor who was reviewing the man's records.
At one point, the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Johnston, we feel it is a great privilege to be permitted to live and work in the United States. As a citizen, you are obliged to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," replied Mr. Johnston, grinning ear to ear. "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."

Levi Johnston is well-endowed. In fact, last month Johnston visited Russia and Sarah Palin could see his penis from her house.

Mr. Hamilton, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions." Miss Smythe gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Hamilton, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this." With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Hamilton called on Miss Johnston and asked the same question. Miss Johnston, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Mr. Hamilton. "And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Sarah Palin told Oprah that Levi Johnston is welcome to visit on Thanksgiving. Coincidentally, Thanksgving is about a week after the Playgirl magazine hits the stands in which Levi shows the world his drumstick.