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My Christmas Wish
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the
world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 super models
and, of course, my spouse
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money
OHHH!! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that more...
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, "Say, we`re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?" The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn`t like to bet, but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they`re walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80. 00, he confesses that he`s the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers. The first fellow reveals that he`s the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro says, more...
A little old lady wanted to join a motorcycle gang. She knocked on the door of the local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded guy with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.
"I want to join your biker club," she proclaims.
The amused biker told her that she needed to meet certain requirements before she was allowed to join. First he asks, "You have a bike?"
"Yeah," the little old lady says, pointing to a Harley parked in the driveway. "That's my Harley over there."
"Hmmm," the biker replies. "Do you smoke?"
"Yeah, I smoke," says the little old gal. "I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks, "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a moment, then she says, "No,never been picked up by the fuzz. But I have been more...
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying.
"Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo."
"Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him.
So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink more...
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying."Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo.""Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him.So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant.The witch more...
Why did the little pig try to join the Navy? He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"