Joshua Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following comes from a Catholic elementary school.



Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i. e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)





In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.



Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which animals come on to in pears.



Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.



The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.



Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.



Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the more...

The Naming of JesusA group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born, a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of more...

The following statements are said to have been written by actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling has been left in):
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get more...

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
"It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.
"Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."
The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"
"Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."