Commandment Jokes

The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.The seventh more...

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world... In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to more...

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year olds.

After explaining the commandment to' honor thy father and thy mother' she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat, one boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one alot when I was a kid...wait...I still do!)
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton...Monica who?)
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is.)
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What...they launch their Depends at 'em?)
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and more...