"Responses On the Bible" joke

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one alot when I was a kid...wait...I still do!)
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton...Monica who?)
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is.)
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What...they launch their Depends at 'em?)
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and residing in Hackensack, N.J.)
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. (Hey...he needed the extra pricks.)
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. (Hey testicle...I have headache. Aw SHUT UP an keep wandering!)