Jungle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.
One day, three men were walking through the jungle when they were captured by cannibals. They were taken before the cannibal king who said they shall be executed and then eaten. The king said they could avoid this terrible fate if they could past the ancient tribal tests. So, the three men agreed to take the tests. The king said for the first part of the test they must go into the jungle and gather ten fruits of the same variety and bring them back. So, escorted by cannibals, the three men went off in different directions to get their fruits.
The first man returned carrying ten apples. The king said for the second part of the test, the men must put all ten fruits up his anal tract without making any facial expressions. So, the man put the first apple in without any problems, but on the second apple he flinched with pain. So, the cannibals killed him and ate him, and the man went to heaven.
The second man returned carrying ten little berries. The king explained to him the more...
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephants tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe."Yep!" said the elephant. "Ive got Turtle-Recall."
There was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT).
Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
And this poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you." A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."
The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"
Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him more...
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
three men a blonde a red-head and a brunette were out on a safari in africa they got lost in the middle of the jungle when they came across a tribe that said go find 5 fruit and we wont kill you but tell you the way out of the jungle, soo off the 3 went with a man from the tribe to make sure they didn't run off the brunette comes back with 5 grapes and the leader of the tribe says shove them up your butt and if you can and keep a staigh face we wont kill you the brunette does it while keeping a straight face so they show him the was out of the jungle. the red-head comes back with 5 cocnuts adn the leader says get on your knees and shove these up your butt while keeping a straight face and we will show you the way out of the jungle the man gets 3 up successfully and then starts to laugh the leader askes before he kills him why he was laughing the red-head replys "
i saw the blonde coming back with 5 watermelons"