Jungle Jokes / Recent Jokes
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
What is the favorite Christmas story for moose?
A Chrismoose Carol.
Who gives presents to chickens?
Santa Clucks.
Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?
Because it would say "Ba aa aaaa -Humbug!"
What is the favorite Christmas treat for ducks?
Christmas Quackers
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh and not pigs?
Because when Pigs fly everything that wasn't supposed to happen... does.
What is a dog's favorite Christmas carol?
Bark! The Herald Angels Sing...
What is a monkey's favorite Christmas carol?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells
What is a snake's favorite Christmas carol?
Ssssssssssssssleigh Ride.
Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross-Mouse cards!
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle, so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession.
The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly.The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?"The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him - I was just trying to trip him up."
Operator, get me the king of the jungle. Sorry Sir, the lion is busy
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, Who is the king of the jungle? and the deer replied, Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, Who is the king of the jungle? and the zebra replied, Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. Who is the king of the jungle? he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, Okay, okay, theres no need to get mad just because you dont know the answer.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
The good doctor had been an inspiration to the jungle natives. He had cured their sick and taught them the religious and moral values of his own England. He was loved and respected by every native in the village, but on this particular afternoon the chief was obviously troubled as he entered the doctor's hut.
"You live among my people long time now," said the chief. "You tell us not right for man and girl to be close together before marriage and we believe what you say. This morning white child born to woman in village. You only white man in jungle. What I tell my people?"
The doctor smiled and led the chief to a window. "My son," he said, "I won't attempt to give you a full scientific explanation for the phenomenon known as an albino. But look at the flock of sheep upon that hill. Every one is snow white except one. The white baby born to the woman in your village means nothing more or less than that one black sheep in the white flock. It more...