Jury Jokes / Recent Jokes
After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes, we have, your honor," The foreman responded.
"Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery." stated the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude.
The man's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant, with a bewildered look more...
Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor.
MegaLawyer Joke Dictionary: "Jury"
Jury: an assemblage of people gathered together to decide who hired the better lawyer.
I saw the new Superman movie over the weekend and my first and overwhelming reaction:
Boy, are the people in Metroplis stupid! And if I ever commit a crime, I want those gullible morons in my jury.
(I won't reveal any major plot points, except for the whole "Superman was away" thing which is kinda implied by the Superman returns title anyway) So, naturally, Clark Kent was away for five years, too.
So as soon as Clark Kent comes back into town, Superman starts saving people?
Coincidence? You'd think not, but apparently these Metropolian morons can't put two and two together even when you're prompting them with "ffffoooouuuu..."
What's even more annoying is they actually include a scene where a couple of them are close to figuring it out, and then Clark looks over and gives them a goofy smile and akward wave, and they're like, "Ha! We were really on the wrong track with THAT one!"
Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution.
The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict.
When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter.
"Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him."
At the conclusion of a criminal trial in a high profile bank robbery case, the judge turned to the jury foreman and asked if the jury had reached a verdict.
"Yes, we have, your honor," replied the foreman.
"Would you pass it to me, please," the judge said, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
The judge read the slip, gave it back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman, and instructed the foreman, "Please read the verdict to the court."
"We, the jury, find the defendant Not Guilty on all three counts of bank robbery," the foreman stated. Upon hearing the verdict, the defendant's family and friends jumped for joy, hugging each other as they shouted expressions of divine gratitude.
The defendant's attorney turned to him and asked, "So, what do you think of that?"
With a bewildered look on his face, the defendant replied, "I'm very confused. more...