Karate Jokes / Recent Jokes
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and –WHACK!! - knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea. ”
The little guy thinks “GEEZ, ” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden –WHACK– the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, “That was a judo chop from Japan. ”
So the little guy has had enough of this… He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and –Bong!!! – bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears. ”
There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog. ”
And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate. ”
The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair. ”
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table. ” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass! ”
You don't know what "Wushu" means When someone ask you what style you do you say:"kungfu" You don't do qi gong everyday You don't know Tajiquan is the most feared style in china You mixed Wushu moves you saw in Jet Li movies with your karate forms You go to some fake Shaolin school Your teacher claims to master at least 700 forms You don't train everyday You break dance You like Jet Li but do tae kwon do You think Wushu is a dance You don't know Taiji can kill people You rarely train, you listen to hip hop, and you like Wu Tang Clan You collect Jet Li movies and manga stuff You proudly wear cotton Chinese martial arts uniform with white buttons You teach karate.... and also Taiji You use the word Shaolin more than once a year You own a katana you bought in Chinatown and your proud of it You go to Asian parties You think your a good martial artist You read books about Buddhism too You went to a Zen meditation class once and never went back You think you don't need more...
Banta and his wife, Preeto, lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So Preeto went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."
The clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does knows karate."
Preeto didn't believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces. Then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So Preeto bought the dog and took it home to Banta who was expecting a big guard dog. Banta was of course disappointed and somewhat skeptical about the Scottie dog's abilities as a guard dog.
When she told Banta that the dog knew karate, he said, "Karate my ass!"
And to this very day, he is in the hospital.
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
-Dave Barry