Kate Jokes

A pair of nude photographs is being auctioned off of supermodel Kate Moss and they’re expected to sell for $74,000.

Or for two bucks, collectors can purchase the cheaper visual equivalent, a photo of a blonde wig and cable wire.

A Shorter, Harsher Titanic

(Scene 1)

KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn't it?

KATE'S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named' Picasso.' I am certain he will amount to nothing.

KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90's audience, because they know this priceless paintings will sink with the boat.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty.

KATE: Thank you. So are you.

LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my' brooding' face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet.

KATE: While you're doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and more...

Kate Hudson and rocker husband Chris Robinson have separated. A source inside the Hudson camp blames Robinson's scraggly appearance, saying, "That beard traps more food than Kirstie Alley's mouth."

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.
They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal.
We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

Reality show stars Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's "Jon & Kate plus 8" are finally getting a divorce after months of feuding.
There will be a new reality show to cover the divorce proceedings, to be called "Jon & Kate plus 8 Jewish attorneys."