Kate Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Shorter, Harsher Titanic

(Scene 1)

KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn't it?

KATE'S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named' Picasso.' I am certain he will amount to nothing.

KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90's audience, because they know this priceless paintings will sink with the boat.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty.

KATE: Thank you. So are you.

LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my' brooding' face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet.

KATE: While you're doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and more...

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate. They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal. We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

Reports are surfacing that Kate Hudson is officially separating from her husband, Black Crowes' singer, Chris Robinson.
Observers note this is the first divorce for actress Hudson, but the second for Robinson, citing his split with musical relevance sometime in the early 90's.

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.
They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal.
We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One
was named Edith; the other named Kate. They met, discovered they had the same
fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal. We'll teach you that
you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal.We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.
"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Declan.
"Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."
Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, more...