Kennedy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Who really killed John F. Kennedy? A. Two hundred Italian sharpshooters.
Do you know the toughest golf foursome to play behind?
Monica Lewinski... OJ Simpson... Ted Kennedy...& Bill Clinton
Monica is a hooker... OJ is a slicer... Kennedy can't drive over water... & Clinton doesn't know which hole to play.
Q. What's the difference between Bill and Monica.
A. One can't come clean and the other one can't clean cum.
Q. What's Monica's favorite instrument?
A. She's good at the piano, but she sucks at the organ!
Q. How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history?
A. The President after Bush
Q. What's the new game there playing in the White House?
A. Swallow the Leader
Q. Have you heard about Michael Jackson's new book?
A. It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"
Q. What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. Get out of my sun!
Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A. Got two fives for a ten?
Q. How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. By putting a plunger in the toilet.
Q. What is the name of Helen Keller's dog?
A. Nyah, nyu, yuh, yah.
Q. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
Q. What did Chelsea say when Hillary more...
1. The pitter patter of little feet
2. Never let' em see you sweat
3. Your parents might realize that you're not 12 years old anymore
4. Naked men
5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT
6. You might like it
7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas
8. Paying back oral sex debts
9. Only pagans procreate
10. Castration
11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love
12. Body hair
13. Too many lights on in the room
14. Your roommate and neighbors can't sleep with all that screaming
15. Axl Rose
16. Since that little Gulf War, there's no money left for research and treatment of those nasty little Sexually Transmitted Diseases
17. Why bother doing it yourself? Just buy the new Prince album
18. Pennsylvania Abortion Law
19. Utah Abortion Law
20. Alabama Abortion Law
21. Taking care of the orgasm deficit
22. Yeast infections
23. Too sticky
24. Messes up your hair
25. Charley more...
Q. Why didn't JFK, Jr. take a shower before he left for the Vineyard?
A. He said he'd wash up on shore!
Q. What's the Kennedy's flying motto?
A. Your luggage will arrive before you do!
Q. What do Kennedies miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
A. The runway.
Q. What will they name the movie about movie JFK, Jr.?
A. Eyes Wide Shut.
A. Three funerals and a wedding.
Why didn't JFK Jr take a shower before be left for the Vineyard?
He said he'd wash up on shore.
Hear about Kennedy Airlines?
Their motto is 'Your luggage will arrive before you do!'
What do Kennedy's miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
The runway.
How did JFK Jr learn to fly?
Crash course.
How are the Kennedy's like oil?
They don't mix well with water.
Why aren't there more JFK Jr jokes out there?
They just haven't surfaced yet.
Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas Tobin asked Rep Patrick Kennedy not to receive Holy Communion because of his support for abortion rights. The bishop had also asked Patricks's father Ted Kennedy not to receive Holy Commuion--not because of his support for abortion rights, but because he would drink all the wine from the cup.