Kevin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kevin Federline was in Times Square yesterday to be the first to sign the "Save the Penny" petition, which is going to be presented to lawmakers in DC who are thinking about getting rid of the penny. I think I know why Kevin likes the penny so much. It's the only thing on Earth more useless than he is.

Dave called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Dave. "Is mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Kevin."

After a brief pause, Dave said, "But you don't have an Uncle Kevin, honey!"

"Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Kevin that my car just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out more...

Kevin attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Kevin asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Looking worried, Kevin said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"

Three leprechauns, Sean, Mick and Kevin, are sitting in the pub getting quietly pissed when Mick shouts out, 'Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll take meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself entered in de book.'
'What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit? You've dun nuttin' to get in de book for,' says Sean.
'Well, it's me hands, Sean,' Mick says, waving them around. 'I tink dey are de smallest in de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de book and I'll be world famous.'
The other two agree that they are quite small and they all carry on drinking heartily.
A little while later Kevin pipes up, 'Ya know Mick, if ye can get into de Guinness Book of Records for yer small hands, so can I.'
The other two smirk at each other and Mick says, 'How can ye have de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool?'
Kevin replies, 'It's not me hands, Mick, it's me feet,' and he takes his boots to show more...

A court spokeswoman says Britney Spears has filed for divorce from rapper/dancer Kevin Federline. Can you actually believe that there are men out there that think they now have a shot at the new divorcee? I don't even think Kevin is gay. Oh well, happy hunting fellas.

Riverdale High School, the stomping ground of comic book legend Archie Andrews, will open its doors to its first openly gay student. Kevin Keller will be the new gay student introduced to the comic book in September. Rumor has it Kevin gives good Jughead.

Southwest Airlines apologized for kicking director Kevin Smith off plane for being too fat. Apparently they thought he was a mini-van and figured he'd prefer the road.