Key Jokes / Recent Jokes

Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

I was trying to teach this sales person (for automated entrance system) how to enter his letters into Word Perfect. I told him to select Word Perfect from his menu and when he did it gave him the opening screen which said, "Press any key to continue..." He looked at the keyboard for awhile then asked me, "Where is the' any' key?"

Three guys went on spring vacation and booked three rooms at a
hotel. When they got to the hotel the clerk said there were no
reservations in the computer for them but they had an opening in
a suite they had.

So they said okay.

Then the clerk gave them the key, said it was on the 30th floor and the elevator was broken so they would have to use the stairs.
They said okay and made a deal the first guy would tell funny stories the 1st ten flights.

The second guy would tell scary stories the 2nd ten flights, and
the third would tell sad stories the last ten flights.

So the first told stories and they walked slow.

Then the second guytold stories and they sped up when they got scared.

Last the 3rd guy told sad stories and at the last stair he said, "Want to here the saddest story in the world" and the other guys said okay tell us.

He said, "I left the key in the lobby."

Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.


Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.


A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.

A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.


A technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and more...

Computer Messages: what they say and what they mean by it
Press Any Key.

Press any key you like but I'm not moving.

Press A Key.

Nothing happens unless you press the' A' key.

Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no.

1A4-2546512430E...

... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem.

Installing program to C:...

... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:windows and
c:windowssystem where you'll NEVER find them.

Not enough memory.

I don't CARE if you've got 64 MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K.

Cannot read from drive D:...

... however, if you put the CD in right side up...

Please Wait...

... indefinitely.

Directory does not exist...

.... any more. Woops.

The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or more...

Yo Mama is so dumb the computer said press any key to continue and she was looking for the any key!

' Newbie computer user questions'

1. Compaq is considering changing the command' Press Any Key' to' Press Return Key' because of the many calls asking where the' Any' key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and more...