Keyboard Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter' P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a' P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Error Messages
''The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...''
''WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.''
''COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key.''
''Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though.''
''Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!''
''Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...''
''Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)''
''General Failure's Fault. Not Yours.''
''Hit any user to continue.''
''Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.''
''Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.''
''Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.''
''Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector.''
''Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted.''

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message.She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached?

The Technologically Challenged Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there'sstill hope:1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old (5-1/4") diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.5. A Dell more...

These are the error messages that you might want to follow next time Windows Vista gives you a problem:
1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4) Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7) Bad command or file name! Now go stand in the corner.
This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9) Windows message: “You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain? ”
10) This is a message from God: “Rebooting the universe, please log off. ”
11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
13) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
14) Runtime Error 6D at 417 A: 32CF: Incompetent User.
15) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use more...

July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is the best
online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto
it in case they don't ever send me another one! I can't connect. I don't know
what is wrong.
July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I
don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?
July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It wouldn't
fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. That nine year old next door
did it for me. But it still don't work. I can't get online.
July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online for
me. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that's just
another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and he does these services for
people. Anyway he's smarter then the more...