Kids Jokes / Recent Jokes

As most young, weak, and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.
The bully, without asking, snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?"
"Well, they're smart pills."
"Smart pills?" the bully asked, then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. more...

"I say, I say, I say. Did you know it takes a dozen sheep to make a sweater?"

"Really. I didn't know they could knit."

Washington Post - Invitational Challenge was to come up with terribly inappropriate Christmas gift ideas.
Honorable Mentions:
Supersoaker 9000:For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
The Laff-O-Minit Jajic Spellin' Tootor Doggie Dentist:Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
Cuisin-Art:Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Water Retention Wanda:Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
Advanced Play Medical Kit:Includes colonoscope and speculum.
Chocolate:Covered lead soldiers.
Bungeroo:Kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms.
Islamic Strip Poker:Lose a hand, lose a hand.
And the winners are:
4th Runner Up:Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm
3rd Runner Up:A Pee Wee Herman pull toy
2nd Runner Up:The Duncan Yo - Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children about more...

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.
"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he says. "That's cool." says Bobby.
Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's father responds "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says "Whaaaat?"
"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father, "Peggy Sue really likes to screw; She'll screw all night if we let her!
Bobby's eyes light up and smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.
A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little more...

One day a little boy approched his teacher and asked " miss mama hujja karala ennatha" and this clever teacher handled the situation very carefully and told the boy that its not a good language. and turned to other small kids in her classroom and said" Puthala Duwala kiyanna honda wachanayak, me Putha kiyaapu wachane wenuwata"
For that there were several responses from several little kids and the last one kid said " Mama sinduwak kiyannatha" Teacher answered "anna eka hondai putha. Puthala Duwala meeta passe magen ahanna sinduwak kiyala ennatha kiyala" and the matter was solved.
One day one little kid in that class who used to sleep on the bed with the parents on the sides wanted to urinate and woke up his father and wispered "mama sinduwak kiyannatha"
For that father got so annoyed " pissutha lamayo than keeyada welawa me welawe sindu kiyanne naha"
After ten miniutes the kids got unbearable and woke up more...

Malik returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father. Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Pakistani?
No son, that`s because you are intelligent. Malik seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Pakistani? No son, that`s because you are intelligent, replies his father. Happy with the answer, Malik poses another question to his father, Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Pakistani? The father replies, No son, that`s because you are 31 years old.

BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!
COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you planning on transferring to another Ivy school after your freshman year? COME TO COLUMBIA!
HARVARD: Hey kids! Do you hate teachers? I mean really hate them? Do you never want to have another teacher again? And what about a social life? Do you hate that too? COME TO HARVARD!
PRINCETON: Hey kids! Do you have any idea what an eating club is? Are you pompous? Can you learn to be? Are you the smartest person you know? How many clubs were you in high school? Have you always dreamed of living in the great state of New Jersey? COME TO PRINCETON!
PENN: Hey kids! Did you like high school a lot? How about four more years of the same? Are you dying to visit scenic West Philadelphia? Does the concept of more...