Kindly Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and he was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualising his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse speaker. "Would the gentleman on the woman's tee please go back up to the men's tee."
He was still deep into his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly go back up to the men's tee."
He simply ignored the voice and kept concentrating.
Once more the speaker blared, "Would the man on the woman's tee go back up to the men's tee, please!"
He finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, "Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut the hell up and let me play my second shot?"
A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. Whats the matter? she asked. Its my birthday! he hollered. And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon theres to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards.. . and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. But thats lovely, said the old lady. Why are you crying? Because Im lost!
In the last year of his service a certain babuji was made head of the cash section. He introduced a new system whereby his prior approval was required in writing before any purchases could be made. It worked so well that he decided to introduce the same system in his home.
One Sunday, his wife sent him a note saying that the children wanted to eat pakoras, hence a sum of Rs. 50 may kindly be sanctioned for purchasing oil, besan, paalak, etc. The husband recorded that oil and besan had become too costly and beyond the reach of a middle class family like theirs; hence the proposal was rejected.
Next Sunday his wife sent another note saying that she wanted to accompany her friends to a movie, hence an amount of Rs. 100 be kindly sanctioned for a cinema ticket and refreshments. The husband recorded that the pay of a government employee is almost finished by the 20th of the month and it being the last Sunday of the month, there was no money left with him. The proposal may be more...
The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War.
BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, “when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head. ”
LETTER HOME… A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...
Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...
One day a little boy asked his mother,
"Mommy, can I take a shower with you?"
The mother replies kindly, "Yes, you may, but you can't look up!"
While in the shower, the little boy asks, "Mom, what is that?" "That's my bush," replies the mother. "And what are those?" he asked again. "My... milktanks!"
The next day, the little boy asks if he can take a shower with his father. Kindly, the dad says he could. And just like the mother, he said not to look up.
Out of curiosity, the little boy looks up. "What's that?" he asks. "That's my..." replies the father thinking fast, "cigar." "Oh," says the boy.
That evening he asks if he can sleep with his parents. The parents agree, and tell him not to look under the covers. Yet, still... he does. The boy booms, "MOMMY, MOMMY! THE CIGAR IS IN THE BUSHES PUT IT OUT WITH THE MILK TANKS!"