King Jokes / Recent Jokes
This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream. By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you". The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause). So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger). As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking thru' the jungle and hears the screaming of a chicken. He wanders more...
A knight and his men returned to their castle after a hard day of fighting. "Howare we faring?" asked the king. "Sire!" replied the knight, "I have been robbingand pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies to thewest." "What?" shrieked the king, "I dont have any enemies to the west!" "Oh!"said the knight, "Well, you do now."
3 guys got stranded in the jungle and had no food. then they were found by 4 cannibals who then took the 3 men to there king.so the king says to them " you 3 men go out into the jungle and bring back 10 of the same fruit but you cant all have the same." so one of the men came back with apples and the king told him that if he could shove all of the apples up his arse without an expression on his face he would let him go. so the man got to 3 apples and screamed out in pain so the king had a little snack and ate him. another one of the 3 men came back with cherries and the king told him the same thing. so the man got to 9 cheries and burst out into laughter . so the king then decided to have another little snack and eat him. these 2 men then met in heaven and ther man who died 1st said "why did you start laughing you could have made it out of there alive ?" the other man said "i couldnt help it i turned round and saw the other guy coming up with pineapples more...
During the Wu Han Dynasty, the imperial court had an articles of tribute which included a glass of wine that was supposed to give the drinker eternal life. One day, a guy named Dongfang Shuo drank some of the wine thinking that nobody had seen him. Unfortunately, the King learnt about his act and was furious. He decided to put Dongfang Shuo to death. Dongfang Shuo pleaded the King: "My Lord, the wine I drank was supposed to give me eternal life. That means I wouldn't die even if you kill me. If I should die, then the wine is not the real wine of eternal life." The King was amused by what Dongfang Shuo said and he pardoned him.
What is as big as King Kong but doesnt weigh anything? King Kongs shadow.
Mariah Carey was one of the first Celebrity jokes to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again". When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.