King Jokes / Recent Jokes

A knight and his men return to their castle after a hard month of riding. "How are we faring?" his king asks.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the West."

"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the West!"

"Oh." replies the knight. "Well, you do now."

Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.” The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.” The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with more...

Three men went on a boating trip and crashed on an uncharted island and were stranded.
They were found by canniables and were told they could live if they passed the trial.
The king of the canniables told them the first step of the trial was to go off and find 10 of the same fruit.
So all of the men set off in different directions.
The first man came back with 10 apples. The king told him he had to stick all 10 apples up his butt without making a sound or expression. The first one went up and he didnt get killed. But on the second one he cried out and was killed. The second man came back with 10 berries and was told the same. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...then he started laughing hysterrically and was killed.
The first man met up with the second man in heaven and asked him why did you laugh you could have lived.
He replied, I couldnt help it...I saw Dave coming back and he had pineapples.

A king is sentencing his prisoners. The first person enters and says that he stole a horse. "Hang him," the king yells. The second person comes in and says he stole old ladies' purses. "You heartless fiend! Shoot him" the king growls. The third person comes in and says that he pirated software on the internet and stole billions of dollars from internet companies. "Well what the heck are you guys doing just standing there?", he tells his men, "Hire him already!"

Once upon a time, the six peoples were traveling in a private plane and that six persons were bollywood king sharukh khan, congress president sonia gandhi, railway minister lalu yadav, small boy, one old man and a pilot.

Suddenly the problem starts in a plane so pilot told everybody to get out but the problem was there were only 5 parachutes but the people were six.

So first our bollywood king sharukh has jumped from the plane by saying, “Bollywood needs me. ”

Next our sonia by saying, “Congress need me. ”

Then our respected laluji by saying, “Hamari railway ko meri bahut jarurat hain bhai. ”

Then pilot, old man and small boy remained in the plane but the problem was there was only one parachute but 2 peoples to jump so the old man told small boy beta, “you jump bcoz I have spent my whole life but you have your future ahead so I will sacrifice for you. ”

Suddenly that small boy laugh and says we both can more...

Cavalier Cocker Spaniard
King James Spaniel
Westminster Terrier
Rhode Island Ridgeback
Palmeranian
Copper Spaniel
Cocker Spaniard
Black Labrador (from a license app, dog's color was yellow)
Dorky Terrier
Lopso Apso
El Paso (attempt at Lhasa Apso)
Highland Heeler
Alaskan Malibu
Belgian Manawa
Belgium Malenoise
Basket Hound Bagel
Welch Corgi
Wild Haired Terrier
Carrion Terrier
Wineamimer
Rockwelders (of course we know that should be Rockwilder)
Rottenwiler
Great Pekingese (supposed to be Pyrenees)
Great Pyramid
Miniature Datsun
Irish Settler
Jack Daniels Terrier
German Police Man
Chesapeake A Retriever
Borderline Collie
Chevy King Charles (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel)
Goverment Pinscher

The questions are as follows: 1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150 Sardar says "I will skip this" 2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR Sardar asks for help from the University students 3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER Sardar asks for help from general public 4) Which of these was King George VI first name? A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL Sardar asks for lucky cards 5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal: A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT Sardar gives up. If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below: 1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453 2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador 3) The October revolution is celebrated in November 4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name. 5) more...